Finding myself single at 42, after a twenty year relationship was somewhat scary – to say the least!
Having to adjust your whole life is a massive task and for me, included a new house, new friends, and a whole new outlook on life. As part of this journey I recently decided to book a 3 night stay in Lanzarote – all by myself. I love travelling and am used to flying on my own after having lived in Cyprus for a few years, however, I am not used to being in an all inclusive holiday resort myself and found this a wee bit daunting at first.
Luckily I love my own company, and have grown to actually need time on my own, it’s when I really relax and my creative side kicks in – I am used to a busy house with two teenage boys and all that brings.
It came to me that after speaking with many of you when I am in the salons, that I am not the only person who has, or is experiencing this – so I thought I would share my experience with you all…
Society likes us in pairs or groups. People on their own are seen as “odd” or “lonely”, almost like there is no place for us. I found this most of all in the restaurant, especially in the evening. I kept being seated next to couples having a romantic dinner for two. I had my phone and book to keep me amused but I could feel the stares from everyone, especially my immediate neighbours! I felt that I made them very uncomfortable, receiving pitying looks from the lady and ‘a little too much attention’ from her other half!
It made me wonder how many single people out there are too scared to go out or worse, have done, and had a response like this. It seems it’s just not socially acceptable to sit in a restaurant, or travel by yourself.
When I told people that I was going away myself, they were extremely surprised, suspicious almost. The restaurant stares didn’t last long though and I soon became invisible – which is exactly where I wanted to be!
I have to say, people were also very kind, asking me to join their company, as nice as this was, I felt that I really just wanted to be on my own – just to sit and reflect. I needed to drown out the noise. We all have such busy lives and it can be impossible to do this at home.
If I have learned anything since becoming single, it’s that I wish I had insisted that I did this more often, daily in fact. Being a mum, wife, daughter, business woman etc is a lot to juggle – too much sometimes and taking time to be you and for you is so important.
So would I travel on my own again? Absolutely. And actually I highly recommend it whether you’re single or not. Having had nothing and no one to consider for three days has been so refreshing and I feel that I’ve benefited massively from it.
My advice to anyone in my situation would be, be brave, do things that scare you a little and definitely don’t let other people’s beliefs prevent you from being you!